I've decided to release a part of my book right now. I really just want feedback from it. I want to know what you think. I'm 18 pages into it right now but I want to kind of release a teaser of it. So have fun reading. My email is mandi49505@yahoo.com. Email me your responses.
Book One: Overcoming Death
A flock of bald eagles are soaring over the city of Ashland. From the sky, they have an orange tint from the city below. The building lights illuminate the city with shades of greens, blues, reds, and yellows. They are bright enough that the city doesn’t need street lights. The buildings themselves were tall and sleek looking. They stood firm and indestructible, most of them were starting to run down. They used to be sleek, and a shiny silver. Now they were rusting; sometimes the metal would chip off the buildings and land on the sidewalk. The cars moved fast as they tried to miss obstacles that were in the road. They were blurs of silvers, reds, blues, and any color you could think of. They weren’t as shiny as they were when they were new. They also started to rust and even started making funny noises. The cars stayed five feet from the ground, but sometimes it was faulty. They would stall out and fall to the ground. They didn’t have wheels on them anymore, the cars had rubber bottoms, so when it failed it would bounce the car and jump start again. The people in the streets didn’t have to walk anywhere; the sidewalks moved them. They were in and out of shops with speedy time. There was no more waiting in line to get what you needed; it was zapped either to you or on you. Not one person looked up to the sky as a pterodactyl swooped in on the bald eagles and caught one in its mouth. The rest of the eagles scattered as the pterodactyl ate the other. Three more pterodactyls swooped in and tried to take a scattered eagle. The three came from different directions; like they planned it. Each one caught one in its mouth and began to gnaw happily on them. A feather fell from one of the birds and started floating down towards the city. The feather was kicked up and around by the cities busy life. It finally landed onto an ID Panel. Bright red lights flashed the words “Access Denied.” Two girls walked up to the door. One of the girls was mid-height with shoulder length brown hair and green eyes. She was skinny; some people would say she was too skinny. She was wearing a white tank top, with a pink mini-skirt. The other girl was tall with long brown hair and blue eyes. See was more muscular than the other girl; looks like she is an athlete. She was wearing a blue T-shirt with wind-breakers for pants. The girl with the medium-length hair walked up to the door, swept the feather off of the panel and put her hand there. The part of the ID Panel that she put her hand on shined a dull green. Bright green lights illuminated the screen with the words “Access Approved.” The door melted away until the girl and her friend were in the house; the door quickly reappeared.
The two girls walked from the entryway to the door on the left and went into the room and sat down in the chairs. They were leather with a clear visor over the chair. The visor would lift up and down letting them sit in the chair. There was a slot inside the chair; they could put in a disk. The disks were very small and compact; it could hold lots of data on them. The two girls entered in disks of homework that they received for the day. The homework showed up on the visors as they used their fingers to complete problems and write essays. The room was a bright yellow with two windows looking over the front and side yard. There were two paintings on the wall by the door, which moved to show a scene. One of the paintings had a dingy looking house. It was made up of wood; it was so run down that the shingles and paint were coming off. The door was swinging on a hinge, and there were holes in the actual walls. A boy walked into the painting, crouched down, and set the house on fire. The house caught fire and pretty soon it burned to the ground. A black screen appeared and words were formed. “Houses in 2008.” The other painting was of what the houses look like now. The same house stood tall, almost as it were proud. It was sleek looking and the metal was shiny and new. Once again the same boy tried setting the house on fire. The house didn’t catch fire; instead a stream of water hit the boy and sent him flying out of the painting. Another black screen came up and they formed words. “Houses in 2417.” The girl with the long brown hair was watching these paintings when she took out the disk and put up the visor. She walked over to the other girl and lifted her visor.
“Cadee, I’m tired of doing homework. It’s the weekend and we should be having fun. Let’s watch movies or something.”
“You’re right. I just wanna get it done. But I guess we have all weekend” Cadee said.
They got up and walked through the hallway into the television room. The room was painted blue except for one wall, which was white. There were no windows in this room; just solid walls. There were few lights in the ceiling, illuminating a soft glow. On the opposite side of the white wall was a flowered couch. Next to the couch was a stand that hooked up to a game system, which let you interact in the game. You would stand on the system and put a small visor on your head. You would act out what you wanted to do. If you wanted to walk, you’d walk in place. If you needed to punch, you would do just that. The two girls sat on the couch, as they sat down a projection came onto the white wall. “What do you want to watch?” it asked. Cadee thought for a minute and said, “Vintage Movies”. A list came up of all the movies that were released many years ago. They scrolled through the list and set themselves on a movie called “The Sixth Sense.” As the movie came on the lights dimmed until they were completely off. They watched the movie and commented on how the story went and how old it was. They commented on the special effects of the movie. To them it looked terrible; the movie didn’t pop out of the wall. The movies that they are used to watching are high-tech and very graphic. The movies were right there in the living rooms. They had 3D systems in every home. They didn’t need 3D glasses anymore. It would just pop out of the wall. It was so real that you would duck out of the way to miss a bullet. The night went on and they sat there watching old movies, the room was only a blue glow illuminating their faces. It was getting late as the television screen blinked midnight. The two friends ignored the blinking numbers and continued to watch the movie. As the movie went on they grew fatigued and started drifting off to sleep.
They both awoke to the sound of breaking glass. The screen had put itself on standby; the screen was black. The lights were just a faint orange glow. Cadee whispered, “Time”. The screen stayed black; the time blinked three-forty-five in white letters. After a few moments the screen went black again. She could hear someone rustling in the kitchen looking for something. Cadee slowly got up from the couch, as she was walking away Stephanie grabbed her arm holding her back. Without a sound Cadee pulled her arm away and gave Stephanie a look. It was the kind of look that clearly meant that everything was going to be fine. She whispered, “It’s probably my dad.” She motioned Stephanie to follow her, and with hesitation she slowly crept out of the door into the hallway. The door to the kitchen was across the hall and a little to the left of the living room. The hallway was narrow and a deep burgundy color. Stephanie got up and quickly made her way towards Cadee, bumping into her when she got close. Cadee got knocked into the kitchen and fell to the floor. She fell right in a puddle of blood. Confused she looked around to find the source of the blood. She saw her dad, who was dead on the floor. He had a bullet wound through his temple. The blood was draining fast from the wound onto the floor. She noticed that the left hand of her father was missing. Cadee got up quickly to notice that she was face to face with the person who broke in. He was masked; the only thing that she could see was his piercing green eyes. He was not much taller than she was. In one of his hands, he held a pistol. With the other hand, he grabbed Cadee by the hair and threw her back into the hallway. She hit the wall hard and slid down to the ground. As she slid onto the floor, Stephanie ran and tried to help her up. As she got closer to Cadee, the man pulled the trigger of the gun. The bullet hit her in the throat and she fell on top of Cadee. She was holding her neck trying to breath as blood was dripping out of her wound. She gasped for air but it wasn’t helping, she was drowning in her own blood. She collapsed and stopped moving; every now and then she would twitch. She was dead. The man then moved back into the kitchen. Why he hadn’t shot her too, was a mystery to her. Her body wouldn’t let her move, she was too scared. Her dad was dead and so was her best friend. She was next, she could feel it. Then she heard the door being opened and shut.
Cadee laid there listening, there was no sound. No one was rustling through drawers looking for something. She was quite alone. She laid there for a few minutes more just to make sure that no one was there. She rolled her friend off and got to her feet. She looked down at her shirt and pants, they were soaked with blood. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she ran into the kitchen to get to the phone. All the cupboards and drawers were opened and rummaged through. Papers were scattered all over the place. She asked herself, “What were they looking for?” Out of the corner of her eye she saw a figure in the picture window, she quickly looked but no one was there. She walked over to the phone to call the police. With a shaky voice she told the phone to call. Instead of the phone connecting her with the police, a voice came on stating that it couldn’t compute. Thinking that it was because her voice was shaky, she took a deep breath and tried again. Her voice was now clear and forceful, “Call Police.” The voice said once again, “Could not compute.” She picked up the phone and threw it against the wall. “Shit!”
